Where did you get a picture of my penis
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
