At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're like the curious george of whores
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
