I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
