West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
