You can't special order awesome
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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