Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
