More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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