I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize