her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
