Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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