If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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