Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
and you fell through a lawn chair
A bitchslap is in order.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
