"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
