She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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