Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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