Grow some girl-balls and come out already
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
