She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
