i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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