going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
