Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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