I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
