Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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