what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
