apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
