I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
