So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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