There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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