I'm jealous of your bromance
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have aggressive nipples.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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