i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
