Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
