I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
