3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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