Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
