from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
