Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
