Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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