she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
