That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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