my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
