Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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