"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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