Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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