haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
