this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
