I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
