I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
