At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He better not be in your backpack
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
