Cold hands, warm shart.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
