oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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