it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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