how can u be prego again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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