I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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