I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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