plz talk dirty to me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she peed on how many people?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
