All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i think i just lost a toe
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
