Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
