they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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