how can u be prego again
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He better not be in your backpack
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
