too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
