My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
