u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My dad is sitting where you rode me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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